Funny Icebreakers


It’s been said time and time again you can open or ice break the with practically anything. You can just say “Hi” or something random.  The first thing you say isn’t always heard, so it’s not too critical. What matters most is your…

attitude, energy, body language and delivery.  It has to be said in a fun, non-serious, upbeat way.

Funny Openers and Icebreakers

  • Shit, I had the best pick-up line I was gonna use on you…but I just forgot it
  • Nice skirt, I just saw a few other women with the same one!
  • What’s worse? Starving yourself or eating McDonald’s?
  • I’ve got this really terrible itch between my shoulder blades that I can’t reach….would you be so kind as to scratch it for me *turn your back to her*…oh that’s much better, thank you *turn around*
  • My friends and I were having a bet whereby the loser (gesture at yourself) has to go up to the most beautiful women in the bar and ask her out for a date… So I just wanted to ask you..Who do you think is the most beautiful woman in this bar?

Funny Lines That Can be Injected Into Conversation (Not Icebreakers or Openers)

It’s good to have at least a few funny one liners you can rattle off during a conversation to keep the energy up and laughter frequent.

  • If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
  • Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
  • Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
  • Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
  • Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
  • Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
  • I bought an ant farm about a month ago and those lazy little bastards haven’t grown shit…
  • Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

How To Transition From Icebreaker / Opener to Touching

You: Hey do you do any drugs..and alcohol doesn’t count
Girl: yes/no
You: (if yes)  so are you a bad girl?
(if no) so are you a good girl?

Girl: yes/no (if she says yes or no just act like you don’t believe her)
You: No way I don’t believe you! Prove it!
Girl :Really I am! Just ask my friend! hey (friend) tell him I’m a good/bad girl!

You:  Ok, I guess you are a good/bad girl…I love good/bad girls give me a hug.  Oh whats that smell is that me? (smell your shirt) no is it your hair (lightly smell her hair while your close to her) wow great stuff! smell my first does it smell anything like it, or is it just you?

Basically what you’re doing here is first making her qualify herself in the good/bad girl routine. then you quickly start initiating physical contact so she knows you’re not looking for a friend.


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Leave A Reply (7 comments So Far)

  1. toomanynouns
    1601 days ago

    Some advice from a girl: using most of these jokes will make you sound like a creepy old man at best and an insensitive pig at worst.

  2. Gary
    1599 days ago

    hey, old creepy guys need love too

  3. booze delivery
    1550 days ago

    Very nice information. Thanks for this.

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    1532 days ago

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    1496 days ago

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