How To Dismantle Approach Anxiety

When most guys think about approaching a woman they tend to make nervous movements, speak rapidly, freeze up, or explode into a pile of nerves leading to rejection.  Usually, the hotter the girl the higher the nervous factor. There are a few simple and easy ways to dismantle your approach anxiety.

A good way to dismantle this type of thinking is to remember that on the inside whether she’s hot, average, or ugly, fat, skinny, etc we’re all the same anatomically (mostly). Another way to shed some anxiety is to immediately look for her flaws to help you realize she isn’t perfect either. See my previous entry Chop Down The Pedestal for more on this subject.

This will help you deal with being rejected as not every woman you talk too is going to like you, no matter what you do. It will help reduce how much you feel like you lost or failed. Remember, she isn’t any more valuable than YOU are, so if she gave you the cold shoulder, it’s her loss.

You have to come from a place of feeling like you are the most important person in your world. Anyone else who is allowed into your world should feel privileged to know you. Also, the more you do it, the less you will feel like you have lost over time.  Turn approaching women into a game, or think of it a social experiment until you get good at it, detach yourself from any negative emotions you may have experienced before from rejection.

Action Plan: Go to a public place like a mall and approach 10 women. We’re not trying to get phone numbers, just getting comfortable speaking to random women and coming up to them cold. This is what you do make eye contact and say “hey, you are absolutely gorgeous and I had to stop you to tell you…<she replies> I have to get going, unfortunately tight on time” wave and leave. Very simple, just give a compliment and have some fun with it. Do it and let me know how it goes.

-Gary

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